Demi Lovato and Eating Disorder Recovery

Please keep in mind the distinction between healing and treatment: treatment originates from outside, whereas healing comes from within ~ Andrew Weil

I have been reading a lot about Demi Lovato. I have read articles, quotes, followed her Twitter feed, all doing my due diligence in research before truly making a comment. I also wanted to make sure what my intention was before talking about another persons’ struggle and recovery, which I do not normally do, because we all wear our own shoes, and walk our own journeys.

I like the above quote, because it spoke to me, in a way quotes often do. I also think, when we struggle with something in our lives, there is a journey we all must walk. No journey is a trace carbon copy of another. The reason I started ViR was to share the diversity in recovery stories, because what my story is, may not speak to all, and I truly think the journey in recovery is colorful.

I am a research dork, I love to read trends, statistics, current treatment modalities, evidenced based treatments, and new ideas that continuously appear. I like reading this, because I think in order to speak to people, I come not only from my truth, but with the awareness that my truth isn’t everyone’s truth. I walked the path of alcohol and eating disorders, and when I started ViR this was rarely if ever talked about. The path I pursued in recovery was dark, twisted, bumpy, challenging, forgiving, loving, and joyful. It was all of these things and I had to find the way that worked for me. I had the AA mantra of it being something you struggle with for life, and the ED mantra of it being possible to be recovered, and honestly BOTH were overwhelming. It helped for a long time, to approach my recovery on a day to day basis, and know I could say I was in recovery for life, or recovered, and neither is innately wrong or bad. This is my life, my recovery and my story.

Treatment is something a lot of people can relate to, we enter treatment, go to groups, meet with psychiatrists, talk about our feelings, learn new coping skills, and try to get to the core of what is going on, as well as discontinuing behaviors.

But when we leave treatment, we are learning to find our own ways of healing.

I want to say how proud I am of Demi, just as I am proud of anyone who is struggling, to get professional help and find a way to embrace recovery. This path isn’t easy, and I am proud of her for taking her time to come to the public, thank her supporters, and share her story to others. Being a voice is NOT easy. I am sure on her road in recovery, her message and views of recovery may change. We aren’t static beings, we are continuously learning, growing, and healing.

There was a quote recently that Demi said with regards to an eating disorder being a lifelong illness. I KNEW when I read this, a lot of ED advocates and treatment professionals would come out in disagreement, and upset, that a person with such a wide reach with her voice, would say something like this. I guess I want to remind people, she is human, and just out of treatment. Her healing is barely beginning. And if I am completely honest, in the beginning of my recovery, I didn’t think I would go a day without struggling with food and behaviors. I know we want her to say “recovery IS possible, and it is possible to be recovered,” but this simply isn’t where she is in her journey. And that is OK. It is ok, for a girl in early recovery to struggle, and not know the days in and out of recovery. She also is sharing her story, her truth, and simply isn’t in a place to say “it is possible to be recovered.”

I think people like me, and many other advocates, who have been healthy, recovered, are the ones who need to share this message, because it is authentic for us. It is the truth we know and have seen. We know there is life after an eating disorder, and our voices help give light and hope for those who struggle, and those in all stages of recovery. For a girl just out of treatment, I think it is ok for her to be honest. All voices are important. We all have something to contribute, and the more stories we hear about recovery, in all stages, the less stigmatized it is. We all read about memoirs of the struggle, and we need more stories of recovery. I watched her twitter feed, and SO many girls were reaching out, thanking her for being so brave and coming forward, and sharing how they too struggled. See, I want the stigma of eating disorders to decrease; I want people to be willing to ask for help, seek treatment, and know they can use their voice.

Maybe Demi is helping give a voice, and help others feel comfortable with coming forward and seeking help. For that – as an advocate I am grateful for.

My thoughts are with Demi on her journey.

P.S.  I also want to thank Demi’s parents for doing an intervention with their daughter. When a child is struggling with a life threatening illness, whether physical or mental, and a parent fights for the life of a child, I admire that. It is so crucial to spread the word about early intervention, and how important family can be in the recovery process.