My Mom was Right: Clean House Clean Mind

My entire life I was a messy person. Cleaning my room while growing up was a point of contention between my mom and I the entire time I lived with my parents. I just didn’t understand the need to clean all the time. I would ask “Why should I make my bed when I am just going to sleep in it tonight?” This was of course a snarky response to me actually stomping my feet and saying I wasn’t going to do anything you asked me to. I had said my entire time growing up that I would never use lists and never EVER own tupperware or rubbermaid. I wanted someone to clean up after me, and always wished I had a made. NO place I lived was clean and organized during my ED and struggles with alcohol. I think this in a way was not showing respect to myself ,or where I lived. I just didn’t care before.

Fast forward a few years, and a lot of time and struggles and I am realizing now how right my mom was. Isn’t that a common thing??? To protest lessons from the parents and then realize when we grow up, how right they were? This wasn’t the only lesson she was right in, but yesterday as I was cleaning, I felt so clean in mind and spirit. I think this is because it is such a physical way to do self care. Unlike a clean up or work in recovery and life, with cleaning we can see work has been accomplished. I also feel like cleaning is something that helps me work on mindfulness! I can focus on the task at hand, and breathe and focus with intention on one thing totally clearing out my mind of all the self chatter that happens all the time.

My mom had told me in my 20s that a clean room would lead to more sanity. That the disaster in my room actually contributed to my anxiety, increase stress, and overall feeling of chaos.

I finally get it. It has been a few years now, and in my 30s, in recovery, in sobriety, I make a plan to clean my place at least once a week. I may not clean as much as my mom does, but every weekend I take a few hours to clean the house, so I start the week off in a clean space. This has made a huge difference in my life. I am sure my mom will read this post and laugh out loud at the title and lesson learned. But some lessons WE have to learn on our own, no matter how often we are told things.

What I have learned from cleaning weekly:

• I have the ability to let go of control. My partner and I share the cleaning process and while I like things “done” in a certain way, I would prefer us to get it clean together, faster, so we have more time to spend together doing fun things
• The week starts off feeling like it is brand new, full of possibilities
• No matter how large the disaster, it truly doesn’t take as much time to clean it up as I always think it will take
• I feel I can breathe better with a clean house, clean sheets, and clean clothing
• I don’t feel as overwhelmed and chaotic as I do come Friday after working from home for two days, a week of puppy disaster, etc. A clean house to start the week is truly self care for me
• I don’t have to clean daily, but small cleanings, such as keeping the kitchen tidy makes me feel more sane
• I feel like I want to be in my home when it is clean
• I cook more with a clean kitchen
• I feel more centered and balanced
• I feel more inspired and creative in my writing when I have a clean desk/table to work on

Here are some of the ways I make cleaning easier:

• I daily pick up the kitchen, put the dishes away, clean the counter
• I use lists of to do’s – my partner and I split doing things, so we discuss who will do what
• I do a few loads of laundry a week
• I keep piles of mail, bills, books, magazines. They all have their “place”
• I have a recycle place under the counter, and daily pick up a little trash anywhere I see it – I take the trash out daily
• Rubbermaid is actually a wonderful thing. It keeps a place for items, and can be stacked in the garage or in the closet.
• Shoes need to go near the front door. I have a tendency to try on too many shoes before I leave the house, so I either put back in the closet or keep organized the in front walkway
• Take breaks!!! Do a room, and take a ME break
• Listen to music versus TV – TV can be a distraction and slow down cleaning
• If I don’t wear it I start a pile to donate to Goodwill

Overall I have let go of having a totally clean house during the week. I am too busy, and have to make self care a priority daily in order to stay centered. I just don’t worry too much about how dirty the bathrooms get, and do a little here and there, but I am ok with making me a priority during the week since I do so much with everything. My weekends are way more open, and having the support of a wonderful partner, makes me feel less alone, and part of a team. I may not like to clean, but the outcome of the cleaning is work the extra time and care. Cleaning to me is self care, self respect, and a definite investment in making my life fuller, more mindful, and less chaotic in emotions, actions and behaviors.

Do you clean regularly? Do you clean on a schedule? How does a clean or messy home affect you???